Twisted

Why are things so difficult
When I try to see inside your mind?
It cuts like a knife
When I hear those words of how you truly feel
Like a claw through my heart
When I realise you've misunderstood
I try to explain but you're already lost

Lost in twisted words
I try to reach out but my hand gets torn
The fire in your head scorches every comforting thought
Charred and unrecoverable
You lay there in the dark
Twisted my words so the right things seem wrong

Why won't you listen to me?
When I have something to say
You're hurting so much but you hide away
Inside the safe shell of your heart
Blocking out everyone else who cares
I see now that your anger is there
Only because you are scared

Lost in twisted words
You're safe inside yourself
You're hurting your friends around you
Twisting words into a shield of stone

Monster

Things are always better
When the darkness stays in the tunnel
Unleash it and like a virus
It attacks and destroys
Changing things to another face
So you dont recognise it no more
Let the darkness hide
Seal off the wound
Let the light shine on out
Then there's only good and no evil

Under This Tree

This is my home that I know too well
So many stories that these walls can tell
I was so happy here, content to stay
I’ll be ready to say goodbye one day

Standing here, twirling beneath this tree
I lay beneath with friends a year back minus three
The leaves lay rejected on the ground
New leaves will appear like doors all around.
Which one shall I open if any at all?
Which one will be safe, which will make me fall?

Don’t ever change, don’t ever let this love die
I promise you I’ll keep this fire alive
There’s so much you haven’t seen of me
Clasp my hand and don’t ever break free.

The place we share doesn’t matter anymore
All that does is how happy we are
I’ll sacrifice everything to be with you
Just say you want the same thing too

I’ll leave my whole world behind
So I can see what more of us I can find.

The Fast Life

Good times are exits on this motorway
I turned onto it two months ago
Left the road that only turned to bad times
Swerved onto this brand new motorway.

Take me on a ride
Leave this place behind
Don’t let me look back
Don’t even attempt to pack
Leave the old things, let us have new
Let’s take this road together and get there soon
To an exit we’ll be happy to turn onto
A new start with only our rules

Wrong turns, speed fines, what else could go wrong?
A diversion, speed bumps, a trip lasting too long?
Maybe I’ll have better luck and forget the sad road
Travel steady, comfortably and with a lighter load

Reflections of Emotions

Looking out of the window is for most beautiful
However, what the window reflects makes me doubtful
For you’re looking through one made of glass
Where on the other side, exposed is greener grass.
But my window reveals only scars
Dented on my soul and reflected through the stars.
Most will say to you that you must always try
But I’ll tell you to never be afraid to cry
Look through the glass hole again
Then tell me what you see.
For if it is an empty reflection
You are just the same as me.

Psychotropic

Like deadly nightshade
He is unaware of his impact
Inconspicuous, beautiful and two sided
He can’t help the way he was made

He’s dangerous with potential
All parts dangerous bar the root
If used right could be good for you
Otherwise the result is pain and hurt

Unaware like the plant he’s powerful
A deadly species with a psychotropic effect
A task to rid from my system
But he’s out and the return is doubtful

Pessimistic

It’s time I open my eyes to see
I’ve cast a black spell on things around me
I’ll lift the curse and set you all free
Open my mind and regret who I’ve been.

As black as a rain cloud
Screamed in my head too loud
For what things should I be proud?
Drifting away or standing in the crowd?

I’ve been too blind to notice
I’ve been too sad to see I’m no longer alone
I’ve been too confused, so I apologise
I know I’ve been walking with my head bent low

Are you happy that you’re with me?
I hope you forgive me for the monster I’ve been

Out With The Old, In With The New

Since my first crush
Made my world fall apart
I believed I’d never share my heart

Age eleven it happened
Love like a brand new toy
Just wanted to explore that joy

My hands closed on air
Opportunities never arose
Left on the line with the black crows

A sullen look on my face
The smile never programmed in
Boys thought my heart was made of tin

I see that now
I was letting that scar show
A cold dull statue that needed a tow

I’ve freed my mind
Adopted confidence and a smile
I see that now I have come a mile

Metaphor

The sun is hot and its pulse is strong
I sit here listening to song after song
That meet the rhythm of my heart
Pulsates through right from the start.

Lazy Sundays with my window open
While my favourite bands play at The Bowl
Unable to hear them like I’m unable to move
It feels like nothing can fill this hole.

A hole left open by the blaze of the sun
Its rays beat down upon me
Paralyzed by its strength and its charm
I’m feeling there’s nothing to see.

My eyelids droop to send me to a slumber
I’ve been fooled and beaten by the sun
In its control, succumbed to its spell
Oh too familiar feeling that wasn’t fun

The breeze like a knight comes strolling in
Overpowers the sun and saves me within
My prison so that I can rise
And find my legs to leave the place I felt tied
Now this is a feeling I don’t want to forget
When I was freed and felt grateful not to hide.

Me and You

Shall we take a chance right now?
Pin our hopes and dreams on us
Working out and plan a future
Our eggs in one basket, let’s take the chance.

Who knows what cards we’ll be dealt
Not sure about you, but I’ve never felt
Things lat forever or work this well
Our love can still burn in the fire of hell.

Tell me I’m wrong
Hold me close tonight
Fight away the impending light
Lay here now for however long
Lets turn this into our song.

Our future can meet a junction
We could go our separate ways too fast
I’m still waiting for the sun to set
No way can something this good last.

In twenty, thirty, forty years time
I might still be saying you are mine
Maybe we’ll be at opposite sides of the moon
Split apart and never see one another again soon.

Tell me I’m stupid
Twirl me high tonight
Scare away the horrors in sight
Stare up at the same bright star
And lets stray away too far.

Learned My Lesson

They say you have to go there to come back
Then you’ll know which way to keep you on track
They say you will learn from your mistakes
Then you’ll know what will leave you with shakes
Like a puzzle only one piece will fit
You have to take the lesson to learn from it

Key To My Heart

Finding the key
To someone’s heart
Mat make you fall apart

Certain people
Are fitted to find
The key to release their bind

Finding the right key
Is a hard enough task
If you do you know you’ll last

My heart is still locked
Someone has the key
Who’s destined to unlock me?

Joy

As the wind sweeps leaves on the ground,
I breathe

As the Sun is blazing cheerfully in the sky,
I breathe

As birds twitter in the bird bath in the garden,
I breathe

As water trickles and sparkles magnificently in a lake,
I breathe

As a new day dawns bringing a thousand possibilities,
I breathe

As clouds shift swiftly in the blue sky,
I breathe

As I take in a cool, deep breath,
I am happy.

High Tide

Drowning and sinking into insanity
The surface is too far above me
Arms reach out to me time and time again
I owe you so much for saving me each day

Going Through Changes

Waiting for my phone to ring
Stereo blaring as I sing
Crazy for any sign of you
Hope you’re in the same state too.

As I twirl my hair round my fingers
The scent of you on me still lingers
Clawing at the wall next to me
You’re face is getting hard to see.

Look at what I have become
Its because of you I’m numb.
I imagined I would feel this way
For you, how weird it is to say
I love you though I didn’t at first
Won me round, now for you I thirst.
Hunger and desire just to see you
Aren’t you surprised I feel it too?

FunFair

When do you want this rollercoaster to stop?
How many twists and turns can you cope with?
Will you tell me when to apply the brakes?
I we’re to work something’s gotta give.

Do you come flying by in my dreams?
My worst nightmare is that you’re leaving me
Please fly by tonight and hand on the beams
Of my pessimistic mind and stay with me.

We can fly together tonight
Lets shoot through memory-shot clouds
Sweep out the ageing dusty cobwebs
And stake out the route of out future flight.

Will I ever be certain you’ll stay at my side?
What does it take to make love last?
Will we be prepared if the ride will crash
If you don’t say brakes to stop us going fast.

Figuring

Its time to be selfish
Its time to screw the rest
Its time I thought about myself
Its time I planned flying the nest.

I was broken, but you came and fixed me
Like a vase smashed as someone walked passed
This is just my time to step back
To slow down, things are moving too fast.

Don’t resent me for my brashness
Don’t despise me for my cold embrace
Don’t pull back cos you’re afraid I’ll change
Don’t think I’ll leave without a trace.

I need to stop being this person I’ve been
I can change without becoming someone else
I will be all you ever need me to
Then I can be happy inside myself.

Will I learn from my mistakes?
Am I holding on too tight?
Will I find what I want?
Am I moving us too far?

Discovery

Negativity, my best friend
My mind set, unable to bend
Begging someone to please just send
For my saviour to come and mend
This unloving heart and broken mind
Love the qualities I couldn’t find
Release a new side to which I’m blind
Stay here and I won’t fray and unwind

Closing In On Me

Staring at the same four walls
Imaging stars may soon just fall
From the jet black sky that’s out tonight
Shower my life with hope and light.

The walls have dark razor sharp claws
Reaching out to memories I’ve stored
In my mind so I start to scream
The insanity that’s controlling me.

This room is not the enemy
I’m driven mad by how it confides me
My mind plays tricks, its on overdrive
Thw indow wide tells me I’ll survive.

Shall I jump
Will I fly or fall?
Will I get
To where I want at all?
I know the stars
Will rain on me
What is worse
Staying here or jumping free?

The same routine means I’m seeing things
The unknown as good and familiar as evil
My mind is saying to leave this place behind
At least I can take the chance and try
Instead of staying where I’ll rot and die.

Out Of Shape

My heartstrings are still bent out of place
They're tied up in knots and were smashed with a mace
Old memories and scars leave a painful trace
Its seen by the weariness of my face
Times a great healer it seals all theholes
Takes away the pain of seeing those evil souls
I've been dragged off tentor hooks and scarring hot coals
By a soul, a light who's re-set my goals

Battered Torso

My lungs were filled with poison
My brain was clogged with lies
My muscles were slashed with depression
My heart was choked with chains
My eyes were dulled by false readings
My senses were frozen with charm
My energy was sapped by evil
My emotions were annihilated by love
My body and soul are healing
No longer tortured by the careless
A soul has caught me and digs in the claws
Its fixing the wounds and doesn't want to let go

Working Through

You're digging a tunnel
Not easy or painless
You have trouble finding the path to my heart
Dig it too quick
I may bleed a river
Dig deep enough so not to crawl your way free

Ignorance

When my pen reaches paper
Angry words flow rather than kind

When my friends are ignorant
I quietly let my teeth grind

When I dare go out the door
A happy place is hard to find

When I listen to the beat of my music
The words catch me in a bind

When I try to step out into reality
I should try to step out of my mind

For not opening my eyes soon to the real world
May eventually leave me paralysed and blind

For my 'school friends'

I've been here too many times
In the place that's a world inside my mind
Its the world I have to run to and hide
Cos I hate thoose 'friends' the dragons outside
The real world is just one big gamble
Its way too harsh, cruel and painful
My world is happy, perfect and wondarful
Piss off bastards, you're just shit-full!
I just need my space where things wont corrode
Try to take me out of here i swear i'll explode.

When The Day Came

When the day came
I still didn't realize
It would be that horrible
To witness a monster destroy
The person I love so much.
Maybe it'll devour her
Or die quickly and let her live
Or it may hibernate
Strike again
Take her away from me
Who knows 'til the next day?
She may have years left
These may be joyous
These may be plain
These maybe short
These may be painful
For no-one knows the outcome
Of the killer inside her
It may choose to steal her life
She may fight the evil away.
No matter the outcome
Tears will own my face
For family hides the importance of it
Away from me
And one day
I may feel what it's like
To have cancer inside of me.